Owambes and Nigerians- Oh yeah! We like to Bamba😄

Nigerians and Owambes- 5 and 6. The number of Owambes an average Nigerian goes to in a year is a lottt. The motto of Nigerians should be: No Owambe is too small. From Naming ceremonies to graduation parties to housewarmings to baby showers to wedding parties and burials, as long as there is food and aso ebi, Nigerians are there. Yes, we turn up and paint everywhere redddd. We simply love the vibe that comes with these parties, the souvenirs, and the enjoyment.

Hustling as we have been “programmed” to do as Nigerians is unavoidable, but we can take breaks sometimes, and Owambes come in right here; something to calm our nerves, the stress of working, the complaints of our bosses, the pressure to be innovative in what we do. Owambes, our momentary saviors.

Of all Owambes, weddings top the list. There is always a wedding to attend. Mummy Shakira’s second child’s, Iya Ngozi’s only male child’s. In our neighborhoods, in our places of worship, in our local government area, in the town hall, in the hotel we go to frequently, in our family house, all around us. We see them on our statuses; hashtags #the latest couple in town, a lifelong journey beginning, and other hashtags and captions. Weddings are the biggest of deals when it comes to Owambes. These Owambes, of course, come with a lot of preparations for those majorly involved. Guests buy clothes too and wrap gifts, show support, but for the couple and their family, a lot goes on.

I was somewhere yesterday, and hearing people talk about an upcoming Owambe made me think of something: Weddings. The different kinds of Nigerians when it comes to wedding Owambes and their preparations for them.

The first kind of Nigerians are those that can’t afford a big wedding and simply don’t do past themselves:

What is that thing we say? Yes, haters will hate, potatoes will potate, but we meuve. This is the perfect way to describe them. For their second son, Ade, they can do a parlor wedding and serve their 50 guests in a tent beside their house to satisfaction. Nothing more, nothing less. These guests comprise their immediate family, a few uncles and aunts, the officiating minister, and their next-door neighbor’s immediate family. Shikena! These people swiftly become terrible people in the eyes of others because they were not invited. For about a month, people around will say: “Won o tie le se iyawo gidi fun omo won(They can’t do a big wedding for their child), Oga o". They just pretend not to hear and keep living their normal lives after the wedding. No hunger, no starvation. They moveeee

The second kind of Nigerians are those that can afford a big wedding, yet they make it small:

Honestly, I like to think that these people do not exist in Nigeria, but there are people at the forefront of saying things such as: “The wedding is not important, it is the marriage that is”. They believe that a loud wedding will lead to a bad marriage. “Small wedding, lasting marriage” is their mantra. They feel more strongly about the marriage, and make the ceremony small.

The third kind of Nigerians are those whose pockets really cannot afford a big wedding, but go ahead with a big party anyways

Picture from a Nollywood movie

The confidence of these Nigerians is simply out of this world. They want to bamba so badly and chill with the big boys that they forget that the result will be terrible: running kitikiti. What do they not do for their dear Adanna’s wedding? They take loans that are more than their 7-year salary put together. They collect all the money they were saving as a thrift contributors, also called ‘Ajo’. Anyone that tries to warn them against their plan is their enemy, afterward, they worked for their children to get where they are. They invite everyone possible to come and see what God has done, including their enemies: Mama and Papa Chioma, who have always rubbished them. There is no one termed: Mogbomoya. Everyone is invited and served to satisfaction. The bride’s mum particularly goes to the table of her neighbors and tells them to eat until they can eat no more, until their bellies are full. They impress every guest around.

A week after the wedding, yawa will gas. They will run pass kitikiti. They will start to live on Garri. For months, they will go hungry to pay their mountainlike debt. Water don finally pass garri. They will then say things as: “we will only eat less for a few months until we pay our debts. Now, no one will look down on us”. Really? Until they start to beg to take a loan to pay the previous loan, they will not realize that the same people that ate Adanna’s wedding food are seeing their sufferings and shaking their heads in pity.

The next category is the kind that can do big weddings, but are not ready to use their money

They simply believe that spending so much on people that they don’t know is not worth it. They spend the money on gifting the married couple expensive gifts, houses, and cars. Spending on those that will love to attend, not so much. These people do not invite their neighbors. These are the set of people that for months to come, their neighbors will label them stingy. The neighbors will tell others that they were looked down upon. “Is it ordinary lace that we cannot buy?” “Did they bring the satin and we said we are not buying?” “We are not nuisances, those that value us will invite us” “That is why they have no friends”. They will whisper.

The final kind of Nigerians are those that have the money, and for that? Everyone will know. Won ma a gba

Picture from the Nollywood movie: The wedding party

They flaunt their money. Having a wedding to celebrate is the perfect opportunity to do so. Their watchword is No dulling. “Aye le ma shata, let them say” is their attitude to people’s reactions to their big weddings. No matter what anyone says, them go do that wedding for their child, their “Okunrin meje”, periodt! They will invite a large number of people, while still keeping it classy and avoiding rowdiness. In such weddings, you see bouncers by the door, requesting your invitation before entering.

Picture from the Nollywood movie: The wedding party

There are sides for VIPs and VVIPs, high tables with the MVPs. The bride’s side is well distinguished from that of the groom. Their food ranges from local food to intercontinental dishes, the air is cool and blissful.

Guess what! after the wedding, it is as if nothing came out of them. After spending a lot, they will still keep chilling with the big boys, because they simply can! They are completely fine, the wedding remains the talk of the town till a more influential person celebrates his child getting married.

What kind of categories do your last three owambes fall? Do you think everyone has the right to decide how his or her child’s wedding be done? Yes, one more thing before I leave una. Many feel that when Stella does her wedding, it is, in reality, Mama and Papa Stella’s wedding😂. Are people’s wedding ceremonies theirs or their parents🤔? Abeg, wetin una think?

P.S: Names used here are not connected to any event or person. They are simply random.

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Pictures Credits: shutterstock, istockphoto, Pinterest, WhatsApp stickers, The wedding party and A Naija Christmas movies, _Just_anodapoet.